


Hey, Y'all

by WrathoftheStag (Mwuahna)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bitty and Jack being cute idiots in love, M/M, lots of chirping, sometimes they are just stupid and silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 11:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13006797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mwuahna/pseuds/WrathoftheStag
Summary: Bitty does a live webcast of his vlog, and it's all fun and games till someone gets hurt.  Just a quick little something with Jack and Bitty being silly.





	Hey, Y'all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DisraeliGears](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisraeliGears/gifts), [Devereauxs_Disease](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devereauxs_Disease/gifts).



**12:00 p.m.**

“Hey, y’all! Welcome back and I’m glad to have you here. Well, like I mentioned last time, today we’re trying something new and exciting -- exciting for me anyway. We’re live streaming today’s video.”

Bitty stood behind the kitchen island and smiled brightly into the camera.

“Now, I’m a little nervous but an overwhelming number of you voted to see me bake something in real time, so that’s what we’re going to do. I hope you have a notebook, a snack and are comfortable because for the next hour we’re going to make a glazed grapefruit cake.”

Bitty began to bring out several stainless steel bowls from the cabinet and placed them on top of the counter.

“I’ve made three of these cakes already to make sure my timing is right, and let me tell you -- my friends all thank you.”

He took his Microplane and said, “Not to toot my own horn, but this is a refreshing and bright cake that’s not too sweet, and you’re gonna love it.”

**12:05 p.m.**

“So that’s one heaping tablespoon of grapefruit zest, now you…” Bitty paused and his eyebrows flew up to his hairline, and he bit back a smile. “Uh…” he smirked and then continued, “Now you want to make sure you don’t go down to the white part of the zest. That's the bitter part."

Bitty continued to grate the zest and then paused and looked up once, then immediately looked back down again and grated faster.

**12:10 p.m.**

“So you want to make sure you soften your grapefruit a little before you cut it so that when you juice it, it’ll be extra juicy. Just roll it on the table like this.” 

Bitty rolled the grapefruit back and forth on the counter with one hand and then looked up, and squeaked once. 

“No thank you, Mr. Grapefruit,” he said inexplicably as he took a knife and cut the grapefruit. “That will absolutely be enough of that!” He added and slapped his knife down onto the butcher block.

**12:15**

“Now that you have the cake in the oven, you can work on your simple syrup. Your---” Bitty snorted unexpectedly and rushed his hands to cover his mouth. His face turned deep red. 

“Excuse me,” he said and looked down at the counter. He inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly and said, “Pardon me.” He then looked into the camera with an extremely annoyed expression.

He regained composure and said, “Simple syrup. Let’s talk about simple syrup, shall we? Good lord.”

**12:25 p.m.**

“So a ¾ cup of sugar with your cup of fresh grapefruit juice, and stir over a low flame till it dissolves. That’s right. I’m just gonna stir. And I’m not gonna turn around -- no sir. I am _not_ gonna turn around.”

Bitty then quickly turned around, let loose a small cackle, and turned back to stir some more.

**12:30 p.m.**

“You ever have those days when you think to yourself, ‘Lord, why me?’ Yep, I’m having one of those days.”

Bitty pulled out a pastry brush from the drawer, slammed it shut and muttered, “I absolutely signed up for this.” He then smiled at the camera, “You’ll need a pastry brush for the grapefruit syrup.”

**12:45 p.m.**

“Let the cake cool before you brush all the syrup on. And poke plenty of holes in it, so the liquid goes all the way to the bottom.”

Bitty looked up and his eyes grew incredibly wide. He began to laugh hysterically and waved at the camera as he wheezed, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

He laughed and laughed and put his head down on the counter while the live feed continued. After a minute or so, he breathed in deeply and wiped the tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes.

He exhaled loudly, swallowed once and looked at the camera. “Grapefruit cake is just really funny, I guess.”

**1:00 p.m.**

“Thanks for joining me for this live broadcast. And I’m sorry about that little outburst before. You know how it is when you get a case of the giggles, and you really have no reason why. I swear, I’m not drunk or anything. Anyway… don’t forget to post pics of your cake on Instagram and Twitter, and tag me so I can see your delicious work.”

Bitty smiled and waved goodbye.

**End of Transmission**

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann, I swear I am going to kill you!” Bitty said sternly.

“What? I don’t have the slightest idea what you mean, Bits.”

“Don’t you ‘Bits’ me, Zimmermann! You know exactly what you were doing!” Bitty said as he rushed over to Jack and smacked his arm.

Jack leaned against the couch and smirked the smirkiest smirk that ever smirked.

“Oh my god, Jack! When you started pantomiming -- Where did you learn to do the stuck-in-a-glass-box routine, by the way? -- I snorted. Snorted, Jack!”

Jack grinned wildly.

“And then when you started dancing with your t-shirt pulled over your head and were smacking your behind, I was going to lose it.”

Jack began to laugh. “What about when I balanced Señor Bun on my head while I bobbed up and down? Impressive, right?”

“Jack…” 

“Okay but when I mooned you--”

“JACK!”

Jack laughed so hard, his body shook. He then saw Bitty’s expression and stopped. 

“It’s not funny, Jack!” Bitty said angrily as he tried to fight incoming laughter. 

“I told you I’d get you back when you least expected it,” Jack said with much self-satisfaction.

“What are you talking about?!”

Jack looked at Bitty with eyebrows raised, then Bitty remembered. 

“Oh.” Bitty groaned as a look of realization spread across his face. “Ohhhh…”

 

Jack had mentally waded through the boredom as he finished hour one of a required two-hour workshop with the rest of the Falconers when his phone vibrated.

He discreetly pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and thought his heart would stop when he saw what was on the screen. It was a photo of Bitty, bending over in a pair of scandalously short shorts, looking at the camera over his shoulder.

Jack was so startled, he immediately locked his phone. He took a deep breath, then slowly pulled it out of his pocket and snuck another look.

A few seconds later, another image appeared. This time, Bitty was shirtless and making a kissy face.

Jack’s fingers furiously flew as he typed out a text.

_**Jack** : Bits! I’m in a meeting with the entire team! With management!_

_**Bitty** : Oh, I know. Don't mind meeee! Hey, y’all._ ❤ 

Another image came in, this time the shorts were gone and let’s just say Bitty showed Jack exactly how flexible he was.

Jack began to cough and felt his face burn. 

Marty leaned over and clapped Jack’s back a few times as Jack quickly shut off his phone. Guy handed him a bottle of water and shushed him.

 

Bitty looked at Jack sheepishly as they both leaned against the back of the couch.

“What was that you said about knowing exactly what I was doing?”

Bitty looked at Jack, scrunched up his nose and sighed. 

“Fine! You got me. I totally deserved it, too.”

Jack smiled and then handed him Señor Bunny as a peace offering. Bitty looked at Jack and took Bun. He playfully booped Bun on the nose.

“And you, Judas,” Bitty said to Bun, “I can’t believe you went along with this.”

“Aw, don’t take it out on poor Bun," Jack said softly. "It’s not his fault his parents are this way.”

“Ridiculous,” Bitty said then began to laugh. “Well played, Jack. Well, played, indeed.”

Jack leaned over and kissed Bitty on the cheek. 

“Come on,” he said.

“Where are we going?” Bitty asked as Jack pulled him toward the hallway.

“I’ve been bad, eh? So clearly, you need to teach me a lesson,” Jack said and tried hard not to smile.

Bitty laughed. “Lord. Yes, to the bedroom. You’re gonna get yours but good.”

Jack ran to the bedroom as Bitty quickly followed behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> A silly little something for my gals.
> 
> I make [that cake](https://scontent.ford1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/23561776_10155620792862559_3141609578277445191_n.jpg?oh=ec765753569de41193ec296a239910ce&oe=5ACBB5AC) all the time. It's one of my faves.
> 
> All _Check, Please!_ characters belong to Ngozi.  <3


End file.
